Saturday, 31 March 2007
Oft I find myself immersed in many hilarious everyday situations at school which unselfishly guide me in my understanding of osteomalacia, the deficiency of Vitamin D.
The first was straight after I had encountered the word for the first time during a bio quiz, and long after most of the class had gone for recess, I was still moping miserably over the fact that I could not find it in my Oxford dictionary, which I thought was infallible. The next teacher who came in after recess was promptly inundated with questions on osteomalacia. Luckily it was Mr Lau, who handled the situation like an old pro, and after saying "I can't really remember.." and nearly inducing simultaneous panic attacks from Rachel and I, and tapping for around 5 seconds with his laptop, "Huitinggg, it's the deficiency of Vitamin D.", true to his second nature as a bio teacher, pronouncing my Chinese name with emphasized enthusiasm as usual.
The second encounter was slightly more frightening, with the whole class displaying symptoms of osteomalacia.
Most of us just collapsed on the track.. or at least I did, legs wobbly and weak - strained unduly by hauling themselves out of months of atrophy. With sharp pains refusing to leave our sides, we found it more difficult to get off the ground than usual, heaved to our feet by the prefects who then herded us back to class to attend the joys of amath. Oh, evil flights of stairs, and woe betide the fact our classroom is on the 3rd level! We hauled ourselves up step by step, relying on our arms rather than our legs. As the day passed, we began to feel a dull ache in our legs, relieved but slightly when we kicked our legs out, terrible for students spending 11 hours in school.
Of course, we had just run our 2km long 10 round race.
But hey check it out, symptoms of osteomalacia in humans start off as aches and pains in the lumbar region, (which is the lower back), and the thighs, spreading later to the arms and ribs.. Pains in arms, back and thighs? CHECK. Pain is non-radiating and symmetrical. Pain everywhere? CHECK. There is difficulty in climbing stairs and getting up from a squatting position due to weakness of proximal muscles. Did we die walking up the stairs? CHECK. The patient has a typical waddling gait. Did we walk weirdly because we didn't want to bend down to tie our shoelaces? CHECK.
However, my childhood king Wikipedia in its glory, doth say nutritional osteomalacia may be treated by taking in soy milk, which is one of the few foods fortified in Vitamin D. Also, exposure to the sun should be observed. Let me teach you how to avoid getting osteomalacia while enjoying yourself - drink a smoothie in a nice club.
First of all, select a nice country club. For maximum enjoyment, I would suggest Singapore Island Country Club, or Raffles Town Club. Since I am a member of neither, I will cite SIA Sports Club as my example.
Once you've got your club, do get a nice swimsuit, which would allow for maximum exposure to sun, yet appear decent enough for public approval. Also, don't forget your suntan lotion, or else you'd end up looking like a cross between a teen high on alcohol and a lobster.
The last step, in which you make your smoothie!
Prepare cut slices of the fruit you want your smoothie to be flavored with. Do try to freeze the fruits beforehand. You also need about 500ml of soy milk, 2 tablespoons of sugar, 300ml of fruit juice and a few icecubes.
Add the peach to half of the soy milk and blend until smooth. Try not to go mad with the blender, no matter how hard temptation knocks.
Add the remaining soy milk, ice cubes and sugar and blend again. While stirring, slowly add the juice in. Hohum, feels a bit like the Biuret test at school. Add the copper sulphate slowly drop by drop, shaking after every drop.
Serve the smoothie in glasses.
Drink away and enjoy yourself!
The clock thus doth tick away at my life;
Tis but the wee hours of the morning gloom
When thine doth lean wearied brow upon wrist
And say with relieved heart, spirit and mind,
"Thyself tis done at long last, and must bid
The evil prison warden of homework
Good night, good luck and good bye, good sire.
Methinks thy hath instruments of intent
For thy tools of education doth steal
The spark of life from thine eyes, and ergo
Doth drive thyself to ever-deep slumber
For not wolfsbane, neither mandragora
Induce such sleep as thou can accredit
To sleep thouest owe'st to yesterday."
I OWN SHAKESPEARE.
Iambic pentameter thrown in for free even. Shakespeare hates your emo poems, but I wrote that myself. :) Ok, that poem is really going to be self-prophecy and I'm going to sleep in school tomorrow if I don't get to sleep soon. It's 1am. SEE YOU SOON!
The first was straight after I had encountered the word for the first time during a bio quiz, and long after most of the class had gone for recess, I was still moping miserably over the fact that I could not find it in my Oxford dictionary, which I thought was infallible. The next teacher who came in after recess was promptly inundated with questions on osteomalacia. Luckily it was Mr Lau, who handled the situation like an old pro, and after saying "I can't really remember.." and nearly inducing simultaneous panic attacks from Rachel and I, and tapping for around 5 seconds with his laptop, "Huitinggg, it's the deficiency of Vitamin D.", true to his second nature as a bio teacher, pronouncing my Chinese name with emphasized enthusiasm as usual.
The second encounter was slightly more frightening, with the whole class displaying symptoms of osteomalacia.
Most of us just collapsed on the track.. or at least I did, legs wobbly and weak - strained unduly by hauling themselves out of months of atrophy. With sharp pains refusing to leave our sides, we found it more difficult to get off the ground than usual, heaved to our feet by the prefects who then herded us back to class to attend the joys of amath. Oh, evil flights of stairs, and woe betide the fact our classroom is on the 3rd level! We hauled ourselves up step by step, relying on our arms rather than our legs. As the day passed, we began to feel a dull ache in our legs, relieved but slightly when we kicked our legs out, terrible for students spending 11 hours in school.
Of course, we had just run our 2km long 10 round race.
But hey check it out, symptoms of osteomalacia in humans start off as aches and pains in the lumbar region, (which is the lower back), and the thighs, spreading later to the arms and ribs.. Pains in arms, back and thighs? CHECK. Pain is non-radiating and symmetrical. Pain everywhere? CHECK. There is difficulty in climbing stairs and getting up from a squatting position due to weakness of proximal muscles. Did we die walking up the stairs? CHECK. The patient has a typical waddling gait. Did we walk weirdly because we didn't want to bend down to tie our shoelaces? CHECK.
However, my childhood king Wikipedia in its glory, doth say nutritional osteomalacia may be treated by taking in soy milk, which is one of the few foods fortified in Vitamin D. Also, exposure to the sun should be observed. Let me teach you how to avoid getting osteomalacia while enjoying yourself - drink a smoothie in a nice club.
First of all, select a nice country club. For maximum enjoyment, I would suggest Singapore Island Country Club, or Raffles Town Club. Since I am a member of neither, I will cite SIA Sports Club as my example.
Once you've got your club, do get a nice swimsuit, which would allow for maximum exposure to sun, yet appear decent enough for public approval. Also, don't forget your suntan lotion, or else you'd end up looking like a cross between a teen high on alcohol and a lobster.
The last step, in which you make your smoothie!
Prepare cut slices of the fruit you want your smoothie to be flavored with. Do try to freeze the fruits beforehand. You also need about 500ml of soy milk, 2 tablespoons of sugar, 300ml of fruit juice and a few icecubes.
Add the peach to half of the soy milk and blend until smooth. Try not to go mad with the blender, no matter how hard temptation knocks.
Add the remaining soy milk, ice cubes and sugar and blend again. While stirring, slowly add the juice in. Hohum, feels a bit like the Biuret test at school. Add the copper sulphate slowly drop by drop, shaking after every drop.
Serve the smoothie in glasses.
Drink away and enjoy yourself!
The clock thus doth tick away at my life;
Tis but the wee hours of the morning gloom
When thine doth lean wearied brow upon wrist
And say with relieved heart, spirit and mind,
"Thyself tis done at long last, and must bid
The evil prison warden of homework
Good night, good luck and good bye, good sire.
Methinks thy hath instruments of intent
For thy tools of education doth steal
The spark of life from thine eyes, and ergo
Doth drive thyself to ever-deep slumber
For not wolfsbane, neither mandragora
Induce such sleep as thou can accredit
To sleep thouest owe'st to yesterday."
I OWN SHAKESPEARE.
Iambic pentameter thrown in for free even. Shakespeare hates your emo poems, but I wrote that myself. :) Ok, that poem is really going to be self-prophecy and I'm going to sleep in school tomorrow if I don't get to sleep soon. It's 1am. SEE YOU SOON!
too beautiful ;
13:25;
13:25;